Grief and sadness on Valentine's
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Grieving & Sad on Valentine’s Day? This Post Is For You.

posted in: Emotional Health

If you’re happily in love today, this post is not for you. I wish you joy!

If you’re happily single, this post is not for you. Enjoy your peace and freedom!

Today’s post is for those who have loved and lost, loved in vain or never been loved at all. For you, Valentine’s Day is either an irrelevance or a cruel reminder.

If you’re having trouble coming to terms with a current love relationship, if shops full of cards and flowers and hearts cause you sadness instead of joy, this post is for you.

My message is simple:

Homeopathy can help

To Love or Not to Love?

Whenever we open ourselves to love, we make ourselves vulnerable. Our love can be rejected, betrayed, abused or taken for granted. On the other hand, a loving relationship can bring unconditional acceptance, cosy companionship, unwavering support or joy and delight.

Loss and Suffering

First love is the deepest, or so the song goes, but heartbreak can come at any age. Whether through a break-up, divorce or death, our romantic partner can be lost to us; a parent, sibling or friend can die; a child is lost to miscarriage or tragically taken from you in a reversal of the natural order; a beloved pet passes on.

What to do? To be open to love is to be vulnerable to its loss. To protect yourself by shutting out love is a loss in itself.

Stages of Grief

Is there a right way to grieve?

In her 1969 book “On Death and Dying”, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was the first to identify 5 stages of grief: shock and denial, anger, bargaining (if only..), pain and sadness, and finally, acceptance and hope.

In real life, these stages don’t necessarily line up in an orderly fashion. Not everybody will go through all of the stages. Stages can be experienced out of order and some stages can be experienced more than once or you could even have two stages going on simultaneously. Some people are unable to find their way to the last stage.

At every stage of grief and loss, homeopathy can help

Stuck in One Stage

Acute grief is said to last 6 months but you can’t force your emotions to work to a time-table and it’s not uncommon to get stuck in one of the stages.

When someone comes to a homeopath for help with heartache, grief or disappointment, more often than not they will have been suffering for years.

Getting Help with Homeopathy

Over 150 homeopathic remedies are associated with the symptom “ailments from grief”. Grief can be a complex emotion because it’s usually tinged with other emotions too. That’s why our treatment is so individualised.

Choosing a remedy to help you process your grief is best done after listening to you closely, so that I can understand your thoughts and feelings at this time and see where you most need help.

If you have questions or are wondering whether homeopathy can help you, you are welcome to avail of an initial phone or Skype chat.

Arrange an Introductory Chat

Can I Treat Myself with Homeopathy for Grief?

Some states and conditions are very suitable for home treatment. Others do better with professional treatment. It can be hard to be objective about your own feelings, and therefore hard to pick the most suitable remedy. It can be a relief to talk to somebody about long-held emotions that have been weighing you down.

The list of remedies below is meant to show you the similarities and subtle differences between a small number of grief remedies. If you think you see a clear picture of your state, by all means, you can try that remedy to see if it will help you.

Please don’t keep taking a remedy that is not helping. If you are not getting the results you need, book a consultation. I have many more remedies at my disposal than the 5 listed below.

Some Common Grief Remedies:


This is probably the most widely known grief remedy and it is the one people most often use for self-treatment, not always appropriately.

By nature, the Ignatia type is sensitive and idealistic with high expectations in a love relationship. This remedy can be equally helpful for disappointment when a relationship doesn’t work out as it is for grief on the death of a loved one.

If you are in an Ignatia state, you tend to suppress your grief, weeping alone, perhaps just a few tears which are quickly wiped away. You might feel that you want to cry but you cannot. The suppressed emotion can be experienced as a lump in the throat or a lot of heavy sighing. Twitching facial muscles can be another sign of suppressed emotion and is characteristic of Ignatia.

When someone expresses a grief that is as raw “as if it only happened yesterday”, even though years have passed, the first remedy a homeopath will think of is Ignatia.

Effects of Grief in Utero

Much of my work at Leinster Homeopathy is with children and especially children with special needs. A course of homeopathic detoxification can include clearing past emotional exposures as well as chemical toxicities.

When I learn that a mother suffered a major grief, shock or disappointment during pregnancy, Ignatia is one of a number of remedies I may use to clear that emotion from the child’s cellular memory.

Natrum Muriaticum

Natrum Muriaticum is another remedy for disappointment in love and prolonged grief after the death of a loved one.

The Natrum Muriaticum type is a private person who is very often reliable and conscientious. They can be great listeners; they find that other people tell them their troubles but they are unlikely to share much of their own suffering with others. This is because they don’t want to be a burden on others or because they are protecting themselves from rejection. They hate to cry in front of others and are likely to reject sympathy and consolation.

Suppressed emotions can be expressed in a host of physical symptoms in the Natrum Muriaticum type. These can include anything from hay fever to skin eruptions to headaches or asthma.

When it suits the case, Natrum Muriaticum will bring ease to the emotions and the physical symptoms simultaneously.

Arsenicum Album

The person who is constitutionally an Arsenicum type tends to be meticulous, well organised and keeps everything under good control. The loss of a loved one, whether through death or some other circumstance, can terrify the Arsenicum personality because it represents ultimate loss of control.

If you are in an Arsenicum state, you are likely to be restless and agitated. You may reproach yourself, thinking that there was more you could have done or you may be feeling that someone else was at fault. You are likely to be feeling very lonely, have trouble sleeping and perhaps have anxious dreams. The homeopathic remedy can do much to restore your peace of mind and help you through the mourning process.

Phosphoric Acid

If you’ve ever seen somebody whose hair fell out or went grey overnight as a result of grief, you were probably looking at someone who could have benefitted from Phosphoric Acid.

The person who needs Phosphoric Acid is completely depleted and exhausted. Their grief can cause such apathy that they can hardly get out of bed. The remedy can restore physical and mental energy and it is likely that another remedy will then be needed to continue the healing.


Sepia is another deep-acting remedy with the potential to heal grief that has lasted far beyond the more usual period of mourning.

Like Natrum Muriaticum, the person who needs Sepia can be suffering from grief that has turned into a deep depression and like Nat Mur, they can reject consolation.

As with the person who needs Phosphoric Acid, the Sepia type can have extreme fatigue, but unlike Phos Ac, Sepia can be extremely irritable. Indifference to loved ones is another well-known Sepia symptom, as is loss of libido.

Sepia’s physical symptoms are most likely to be hormonal but this remedy is also known for success with vitiligo and psoriasis, where the full picture fits.

Balancing Your Emotions with Homeopathy

The effect of a homeopathic remedy is to bring balance to your emotions, rapidly, gently and permanently.

If none of these remedies describes your state, don’t worry! I have many more remedies at my disposal. Homeopathy is completely tailored to your individual needs.

If you would like help with grief or other troublesome emotions, give me a call or arrange a consultation appointment. I can help.

.. and finally, on this happy Valentine’s Day,

the person who most deserves your love today is ..


Have a good one! xx

Follow Carmel O'Keeffe:

Classical Homeopath and CEASE Therapist

Carmel O'Keeffe is an experienced Classical Homeopath with specialist training in homeopathic detox. She offers homeopathy for all the family through 1:1 consultations, in person and online.

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